Travelling with toddlers....

Travelling with toddlers is not for the faint hearted. It definitely pays to be prepared, whether you are travelling in England or reaching out abroad. Ultimately, holiday should be a relaxing time for everyone and not just mummy or daddy doing all the things they do at home in a place that is fundamentally less child friendly!
So many hotels are now incredibly well set up for toddlers and babies, with cots and highchairs available as well as sterilisers and potties in some places! It is worth putting in an email or phone call to your hotel to find out what they have to help save some packing space (or perhaps you prefer your own stuff?!).
I am an obsessive list writer, a holiday or even overnight trip cannot happen without a list. Without one, I will forget something! I generally start writing mine a week and a half before we go as this gives me time to purchase any of those last essential items. 
So here are some of my essential toddler holiday items....

1. A paddling pool -  This might sound odd when you are possibly travelling somewhere with an entire swimming pool, but whether you go to a self catering villa or apartment, a country cottage or a hotel the chances are a toddler will want to play in or with water and in deep pools this is hard to do and requires an adult in the water with them at all times. A small paddling pool can be easily filled and emptied, placed in the shade or sun, between your sun loungers or even on the beach. Chuck a few pouring type toys in a your toddler will be entertained for hours with you watching carefully from a reclined position on your sun lounger!

2. A sun tent - this are amazing. I actually bought mine for £5 on a Facebook selling page, so it's always worth keeping an eye out for bargains on pages like that! These are a fantastic way of entertaining children, partly just because children love tents, going in and out, opening and shutting the doors, playing with the zips... endless fun! But it also provides a shady spot for some 'dry' toys. I say 'dry toys' in quotes because I would recommend using toys that won't be completely ruined by going in the water. Perhaps something like plastic building blocks or, my son is currently really into small figurines from his favourite TV shows. 

3. A blackout blind - you never know what sort of curtains or blinds you will find on holiday. If your little one is likely to be woken by the sun in the morning, or might find afternoon naps tricky without darkness it is well worth investing in one. I have the 'Gro Anywhere' (available on amazon) blind which is fantastic for even really large windows and attaches with suction cups. 

4. Do a risk assessment on arrival - this might sound ridiculous and I'm not for a second suggesting you get your clipboard out and make notes but you will feel a whole lot more relaxed if you and your partner are prepared for the things that could go wrong. No one wants to spend their holiday in A&E! We have recently come back from a castle which had lots of amazing artefacts that could both do harm to children and be harmed by children! We moved all the dangerous ones to a locked cupboard on arrival and returned them as we left! It may be something as simple as noting that the inside tiles are very slippery so the children should wear sandals/crocs/flip flops indoors at all times, or agreeing with your partner that one person is in charge of the child around the pool at all times and you must 'pass the conch' as it were if you need to step away for some reason. 

I hope these 4 tips help you to have a thoroughly relaxing holiday this summer and for many to come!

NQP x

My baby is here!!! Now what...

So, the moment you've always dreamed of is here… you arrive home with your beautiful bundle of joy after a magical labour (OK, probably not a magical labour… they are for some people but let’s talk about that another day!) and you are about to start your perfect family life. Then the reality sinks in… this little bundle of joy is a person who will rely on you for EVERYTHING.

It’s ok… take some deep breaths…

I’m going to try and ease your mind with six top tips for getting through your first weeks with your baby

Use your network… I am super fortunate in that I have an amazing support network of family around me, if you are lucky enough to have family nearby, then use them! This is the time you are allowed to be waited on whilst you dote on your little person.  Naturally, they are all going to want to come round and coo incessantly  which is great, but this is the time to be blunt and bold and ask tell them to empty the dishwasher, put that load of washing on (there will be lots of washing… forever … you’ll get used to it), make everyone a cuppa or even some dinner! They are really small things that will make a huge difference to you and your partners days. If you find you don’t have such a supportive network, netmums, mumsnet and babycentre to name a few, provide amazing moral support for mums. You can connect with people who are having babies in the same month as you, so will be experiencing all the same things you are.

 Sleep… whenever you can. People will understand. You have just had a baby, you have disturbed sleep patterns, so if you need a nap in the morning… and the afternoon... do it!

 Do what gets you through the day… I am a HUGE routine fan, I think it makes your life easier in the long run… but you can read more about that here. However, in the first few weeks you are making a huge adjustment to your life and there will be time once you are settled (say at 3-8 weeks) to implement a routine. Also, in the first two weeks particularly you will likely have a lot of visitors wanting to coo and have cuddles with your baby… having your routine thrown out because of that is an added stress you don’t need!

Eat well… when I say eat well, I mean eat healthily. Of course eat nice biscuits and cake and chocolate if you want to, but it is also really important to replenish your body with goodness after giving birth. Your body may be repairing scars, replenishing blood and preparing milk, so you need to be providing the appropriate fuel. You also need to ensure you are getting enough fibre as those first few number twos can be the scariest moments you will ever spend on the loo! A favourite for me was porridge with blueberries, flax seeds and manuka honey.  The manuka is a great healer and the flax seeds really get everything in moving properly and easily! Try and eat some foods that are high in iron too as this will help give you energy.

It is ok to cry… as someone who isn’t a big crier and didn’t get particularly ‘hormonal’ during pregnancy, it was a big shock to me when on day 4 post-partum I stood in the kitchen crying about soup. A few hours later I cried because my son was just so damn perfect. Then I cried because I couldn’t decide what to have for dinner… I could go on… Crying doesn’t mean you have postnatal depression (though if you think you do, take a look at this website), it is really normal after giving birth for your hormones to take some time to settle back to normal. Ask for help, ask for hugs, or just sit and have a big cry if you need to.

Enjoy your baby ... I know it's what every other mother with older children will say to you... but they really do grow up so fast, so cherish these moments with your tiny weeny baby because they will be over in the blink of an eye. 

So, there you have it. Enjoy your first few weeks of parenting... and if you have any questions... just ask!

NQP

x

Sex vs Gender

 

You may have read in the papers recently the family in USA who choose to keep their children's gender a secret. They do so by naming their child something unusual, the first two being Jazz and Kio, both now known to be boys and their third is named Storm. 

The theory behind this is that gender is a social construct. This means that gender is something that we, as a society have created and go on enforcing without even intending to. Now, before you all go ranting and raving that this is totally ridiculous and that we obviously are different because we are genetically different I should explain the basic difference between gender and sex. Our sex is just that, our genetic, biological sex. Gender is in essence how we define our sex.

So, what this family in the States is fighting for is equality. They do not want people to coo and cuddle and protect their child because it is a girl likewise they do not want people to play rough and tumble with their child because it is a boy. What they really want is for you to do both. They also want their child to be able to wear pink or blue without people raising eyebrows or assuming a sex.

Now, this family are actually nothing new. There have been families doing similar things with their children in Sweden and Norway for some years now. But I think the real question is... is it right?! Naturally, I am not all knowing and can’t possible definitively say either way.  Equally, these children will struggle to say what they think, because they don’t know any different. My feelings are mostly that it isn’t fair to use your child as a social experiment.

Do I think that we are stuck in our gender boundaries?  Yes.

Do I think that children should have the freedom to play with whatever toys and wear whatever colours they want? Yes.

Do I think their sex should be a secret? No.

I don’t think this is the best way to go about it. When I was a child, I was what was known as a ‘tom boy’. I loved playing army men with my brother, I had no problem getting muddy and running around. I also had millions of Barbie dolls and Polly Pockets! I wore my brother’s clothes, and I wore pretty dresses. I had just as many boys for friends as girls. Interestingly as my brother got older, he had probably more female friends than male (and no, he isn’t gay!).  

Why does a child’s sex need to be a secret for them to have the freedom to play with all toys? As a nanny, I work hard on ensuring that toys of all varieties are available. Suzi*, a little girl I nannied for, found her brothers toy cars at the age of about 14 months, and that was it. They were her favourite toy. She loved to lie on the floor pushing them back and forth, or line them up neatly against the wall.

I already had a good basis of knowledge for this article because of my degree. But when doing a little more research I found an article about a playschool in Sweden that is gender neutral. This doesn’t mean that the children have to keep their gender a secret, rather that playing with all toys regardless of sex is encouraged. The teachers won’t refer to the children as boys and girls rather as ‘friends’.

Wow! What a fantastic idea. I think this is a better way forward. Surely keeping a child’s sex a secret will only be confusing and put the child at risk of being bullied for being different. Because let’s face it, we, the human race do not deal well with people being different or breaking the norm. This is quite a radical step.

Gender neutral is what all schools, in my humble opinion, should be! Schools should work towards allowing children to take part in all activities regardless of sex and I believe they are. It takes time, but boundaries are broken and change does happen.

Sometimes we just have to be a little patient.

What do you think?

Not Quite Poppins

Practically Perfect in Every Way....?!

Well here we go, my first blog. I'll tell you first how the blogging idea came about;

My husband (Mr B) and I (NQP) had gone for dinner at our dear friends house. Just as I sat down to have a cup of tea and a good catch up, their youngest son, H was ushered off to bed by his grandmother.

H: I want NQP to read me my story.

His grandmother sighed and looked at me:

Sorry!

No problem! I replied. As a nanny, I have become quite used to kids wanting me to be involved in their next activity, particularly if you are someone new and exciting! So off we went...

After reading him a story about losing your baby teeth (Charlie and Lola, I believe!) and after carefully tucking him in and shutting the curtains, I closed the door quietly as H snuggled down under his covers. As I returned to the kitchen I heard H's grandfather saying:

Why does everyone have to read a parenting book these days? Did Nelson read 'Battles for Dummies?

Mr B: No, but some people just have what it takes. Some people are born with it. Like NQP. She just knows how to parent.

I felt myself blush slightly as I walked into the room. You can't receive much more of a compliment than that. Particularly as I am not even a parent yet!

As the evening went on, we discovered that our friends father had a blog, as did their two daughters (aged 9 and 12!!) Naturally the girls blogs were about thier interests, games they liked to play online etc etc and their grandfathers was more political.

At 10pm off I went to work. 10pm?! I hear you say. That's right, I am currently night nannying for a fantastic family. So off I trot to their house for an 8 hour night shift of settling the baby to sleep and doing any night feeds necessary, though at 9 weeks I have got her going practically all the way through the night. As I lay cuddling her that night I couldn't stop thinking about blogs. I read a couple of blogs from time to time, mostly about diet and health (I will talk more about those another time), but it isn't something I have ever really considered before. But the more I lay there thinking about them, I could feel my jealousy bubbling!

I wish I could write a blog. I wish there was something about which I knew enough and felt passionate enough to write a blog about! I looked at the baby that had fallen asleep in my arms. There was my lightbulb moment! Children! I know tons and tons about children. I would love to share my knowledge, advice, thoughts, troubles and daily experiences as a nanny with people!

So that was it. My mind was buzzing with excitement! What should I call it - how should I write it?! I already had my first, second and third blog exploding with words in my mind! When I crawled back into my own bed at 6.30am the next morning, I told my husband my idea... waiting for him to shoot me down in his half asleep state (maybe this wasn't the time to launch a new idea to him... but I was excited!) but he didn't.

Mr B: That's a great idea!

I told him my suggestion for a name... He frowned and shook his head...

Mr B: How about Practically perfect in every way?

NQP: AMAZING!!

Naturally that name was taken as a URL. But actually, Not Quite Poppins is a great name. Because I am not perfect, I too make mistakes and learn. But hey, I am a very good nanny. And I am very good with children.

So here is my endeavour:

• Discuss topics that arise in the news to do with children. 
• Discuss daily issues I face with children and how I resolve them.
• To give guidance to those who feel they are alone with difficult children.
• To share humourous anecdotes of the cherubs I work with.
• To discuss topics that may arise as part of the degree I am undertaking in Youth and Childhood studies (because you can never know too much!)

I am no preacher, teacher or self proclaimed expert. But I do know quite a lot. I believe we should change our practice as children and society change. So preaching old school methods is not necessarily the way of the future!

So here it is. This is blog number 1.
May I be interesting enough to write many more!

Not Quite Poppins.

NQP